This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it hurts more in the daytime
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
