If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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