Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
