Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize