...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
