Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
