JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
