At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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