I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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