He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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