Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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