so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
