There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My bed smells like the plague
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
