So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
