what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
