I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
