You can't special order awesome
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dick very happy bro
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
