I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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