he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
