U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
