The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Randomize
