On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
