If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
