i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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