That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
babies were throwing up all over the place
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize