seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
