Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
