he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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