you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you never un-have a 4some
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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