Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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