just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
