I'm really into asian looking animals
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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