so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
