I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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