She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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