I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Your cock deserves a montage
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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