Me too!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
