Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
