Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
