am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
