I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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