he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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