so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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