Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
