My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
