no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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