dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
