whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
