I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
