Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize