i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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