I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Your cock deserves a montage
You made out with two different species that night
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
