I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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