i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
