the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
