honey bunches of taint.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
how does that bad decision feel?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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