I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
