You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
