no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
