My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
