so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Terrible idea I love it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
