in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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